This has been a season of harvest. But I will not call it a harvest of plenty. For me it has been a season of enough. I have enough energy to get through the day. I have enough faith an hope to make it to break. But love I am out of.
A little while back I had a conversation with a dear friend that really helped me process a lot of this. Last year, I was able to give and give and give. That was my job (especially as a PK). The well o my soul was full and I was able to help quench the thirst of those around me. Then the dry time came. It wasn't that I wasn't being watered but it was that I needed more and more. I was so dry that the water wouldn't reach my roots. I still am.
How do you ask for more water when you are already being given so much? What do you do when the love being given to you is something that you are thankful for, yet it doesn't quench your thirst at all? What do you do when you are bone dry and feel guilt because you cannot give any more away?
I am dry as the desert. I am a spiritual baby, drinking water from a bottle, totally dependent upon those around me at school. I am angry at myself for being so needy. I feel guilty for taking and taking. I am unable to love those around me.
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