Season of Harvest.

This has been a season of harvest. But I will not call it a harvest of plenty. For me it has been a season of enough. I have enough energy to get through the day. I have enough faith an hope to make it to break. But love I am out of. 

A little while back I had a conversation with a dear friend that really helped me process a lot of this. Last year, I was able to give and give and give. That was my job (especially as a PK). The well o my soul was full and I was able to help quench the thirst of those around me. Then the dry time came. It wasn't that I wasn't being watered but it was that I needed more and more. I was so dry that the water wouldn't reach my roots. I still am. 

How do you ask for more water when you are already being given so much? What do you do when the love being given to you is something that you are thankful for, yet it doesn't quench your thirst at all? What do you do when you are bone dry and feel guilt because you cannot give any more away?

I am dry as the desert. I am a spiritual baby, drinking water from a bottle, totally dependent upon those around me at school. I am angry at myself for being so needy. I feel guilty for taking and taking. I am unable to love those around me. 

the small things (part 5)

It's spring break here and I'm sitting in a Panera (or St. Louis Bread Co. It's all in how you slice it...) surrounded by laughing toddlers and warm bread and lesson plans on lesson plans and it feels good. It's been good to have this much needed time of rest. Here are some things I'm thankful for...

-I'm thankful for my own bed and my own well worn sheets.

-For impromptu root beer floats and a family that will put up with my quirky movie choices.

-For chaco weather and the return of the sun.

-I'm thankful for funny, road-tripping, adventurous friends who update the world via hashtags. #TUthegrandcanyon

-For half priced books and friends who know exactly what you're looking for, even when they live far away.

-For a brother whose love language might be cruising around with shamrock shakes.

-I'm thankful for throwback pictures of NYC, that make me my own particular shade of homesick.

-And for oversized grey t-shirts that basically pose as dresses. Yes.

What are you thankful for, friends?




Song of the Post: Patience, First and Patience, Please- Penny and Sparrow

open windows. open hearts.

       In the spring, I always have the urge to write again. I love the beginning of winter, the freshness of snow and liquid air in my lungs. But by the middle of January, the greyness settles in my bones and I get so so tired.
       Today I opened my window and stood in the light. I read poetry and dressed up and ate well. I laughed deeply, from the bottom of my being. Tomorrow I will take off my shoes and let my feet feel the earth again. Spring has come.
       The greyness will come back. But I can finally see the light and feel the sun on my face. Joy is mine, given by our greatest joy-bringer. I will rejoice.

Song of the post: She Lit a Fire- Lord Huron

   

For the Crew

This might be a poem too... Don't judge too much, it's just the first draft for a class.

For the Crew

We are ungraceful dancers,

with our vacuum partners

and our sure moving hands

dripping diamonds

of dishwater.

We fill up the air with

hidden praise, off key,

from our lips,

keeping beat with

the thump of moving chairs.

We serve with our towels,

laughing because we believe

that our exchanges

are somehow witty,

we eavesdrop, and

lift our noses to catch

the smell of tea.

I would not trade our

nightly dance for

a world of clean dishes,

put neatly in their places,

and I do not wish to be

anything less than

a member of this

safe place.

the small things (part 4)

Small things that I am thankful for this week.

-This week I'm thankful for God's people.

-I'm thankful for friends who understand that doughnuts may not be able to solve everything but they can make life a whole lot better.

-A roommate who is okay with living with someone who listens to the same three songs on repeat for daysss.

-Cheap leftover Valentines day candy.

-Women who call me to pursue bravery and who walk with me when I need some help.

-Cards that remind me that I am loved.

-The quietness of Saturday mornings.

-I'm thankful for friends who have Jesus shining out of their faces and present in every word that they speak.

-Yarn and flowers. Two things that embrace the winter and the coming spring.

-Worship and meaningful conversations about it.

-Small children who come up to me to tell me that we have the same hair.

-Chips and salsa.

-Writing classes that actually make me want to write. How neat is that?


Song of the post: Shake - Walk Off the Earth